long weekend

This has been a strange weekend for sure. I've been super busy in general, but this weekend was very up and down.

Friday night the Detholz were again amazing. $5 was cheap to see the televangelist/Halloween rock antics of the Chicago based band. "When we were all growing up as young Christians, we all agreed on one thing, the devil didn't get enough play" was basically used as and 8 count to screech into their next song of charismatic/faith filled (albeit very unorthodox) rock.



Then Saturday night the six o'clock service was one of the worst services I think we've ever had. Nothing flowed well, we made mistakes. Everything was awkward. I wanted to leave. I thought about how great it would be to work for UPS or Fed Ex or be a farmer or something other than a mistake riddled worship leader. But I guess God's teaching me something. I'll let you know when I find out. The next service went a little better, but things still weren't clicking quite right.

Sunday morning my alarm went off at 6:30, I was still sleeping, but I shut it off. My wife woke me up at 7:35 and told me that. I made it to church with my dingy self (but fresh breath) by 7:45. I was a little out of it for the first service, but the next couple were ok. But I was still exhausted from the stress of the night before.

I know God is working at Riverview. People's lives are changing. People are becoming more selfless. People are getting to know God. I just felt like I was getting in the way and I couldn't help it. It felt like there was nothing I could really do. It was weird, because most weekends I love everything I'm doing. I love being a part of something greater than myself. I love knowing that I'm pretty weak, untrained and vulnerable, but God is using me anyway. But this weekend, I felt like everything was set up to go right, I just had to be there and do it. But things just weren't right. This could have something to do with letting God work instead of myself, but I don't know.

I realized that I had church related stuff planned through Saturday this week, every single night, so I cancelled practice tonight. I'm going to go home eat dinner with my family, then watch some 24 with the gang.

I'll let you know what God is teaching me as soon as I find out. Sleep always helps and I'm feeling better today.